Bronwyn Green is an author, blogger and compulsive crafter. She lives in Michigan with her husband, two kids and three somewhat psychotic cats. When not frantically writing, she can be found helping in her youngest child’s classroom or binge-watching Netflix while working on her latest craft project.

 

Kittens at Christmas

To me, Christmas means a lot of things: family, laughter, ridiculous amounts of food, baking cookies with my kids and sister, pathologically frantic crafting sessions trying to finish presents on time for all of the parties we’ll be attending and gifts I have to ship, and of course, utter destruction.

I realize a lot of you may be giving me the side-eye right now over utter destruction being included in my holiday list, but bear with me. It’ll become painfully, painfully clear in a moment.

In August of 2009, we got two sweet, little kittens—sisters from the same litter. My husband, kids and I were at the shelter trying to decide between these little cuties, and finally my husband looked at me and said, “We’re just going to have to get both. We can’t take just one, it would be like splitting up you and Cait (my sister).” I do love that man.

So, we brought home Willow and Morrighan. Like most kittens, they were adorable, cuddly, and mischievous.

Morrighan and Willow

Morrighan and Willow

As you can see, they grew into very sassy cats.

With two very sassy cats, you can imagine what Christmas was like. I don’t think the tree was even up for half an hour before this happened.

We learned pretty quickly to use only non-breakable ornaments on the tree. We also learned that the tree needs to be anchored to a hook in the ceiling with heavy-test fishing line. And, we learned that Willow and Morrighan are the masters of making strings of lights go out. Even the ones on pre-lit trees that are supposed to be less fussy. We also learned that climbing the tree is a great way to get to the top of the bookcase.

Morrighan

Morrighan

However, if you thought we’d learned our lesson about cats, we clearly didn’t. At all. This past July, we again, brought home littermates, a brother and sister we named Loki and Kitsune. They’re already both far more insane than Willow and Morrighan ever were at this age.

Loki and Kitsune

Loki and Kitsune

This year, I anticipate that we’ll have four cats in the branches.

Because we are stupid. Very, very stupid.

And we’re also screwed. Very, very screwed.

But it should make for an entertaining holiday season. I’ll be sure to post pictures on my blog…and all the other social media places.

You might have noticed that our cats have some fairly geeky names, but to be fair, we’re a fairly geeky family.

Willow was named after my favorite character on Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Morrighan, after one of the Celtic death and war goddesses (This was a foolish move on our part. She’s a bit of a thug.) Kitsune means fox or spirit fox in Japanese, and she has a very fox-ish look about her. Plus, my daughter is heavily into Japanese anime, where foxes are oft used characters. And lastly, we’ve got Loki after the Norse god because we all adore Tom Hiddleston’s portrayal of him. (Another foolish move. We are, apparently, the family that does not learn.)

Since I definitely have some geeky interests, I thought it would be fun to include a little geekery in Drawn That Way, one of the books that’s part of my and Jessica Jarman’s joint series, Bound.

And while Loki and the rest of the Avengers don’t figure into the storyline, there are some random Doctor Who and Harry Potter Easter eggs—oh, and there’s also video game design, dirty Tumblr, and BDSM.

Drawn That Way

Tristan Weaver, accountant for a successful video game company, is in way over her head. Honestly answering a company-wide survey and criticizing the sexist stereotypes used in the company’s games was enough to catch her boss’ attention. But speculating on his sex life within his earshot has unexpected consequences when her hot, but nerdy, boss invites her to model for him.

Owner, artist and lead developer of Brecken Games, Rory Brecken, has a strict no fraternizing with employees rule. However, when he overhears Tristan’s conversation with her friend about his rumored kinks and begins to suspect her curiosity about the submissive side of sex, he’s more than a little tempted. When her interest is undeniably confirmed, he suggests a onetime only, colleagues-with-benefits hook-up.

Though neither want a relationship, once isn’t enough for either one of them. As their encounters become more intense, Rory makes a huge mistake that may cost him the woman he’s coming to love.

Drawn That Way Excerpt © Bronwyn Green

“What’s your password?” he asked, setting a laptop on his tall drafting table.

“The Doctor’s Companion. All one word. Capital T, capital D, apostrophe S, and capital C.”

Rory snorted and typed it in as she turned around. “I’ll just upload the files from the SD card so you can have a copy, too.”

He typed it in on her keyboard.

On her laptop.

Her laptop that he’d just grabbed from her office.

Where she’d been looking at, well, basically porn, when he’d walked in earlier.

“Close the lid. Close it,” she practically screeched, crossing the room to do it herself.

His eyebrows drew together, and he stared at her, his expression quizzical. Then, he slowly turned his head back toward her screen. She could see the flickering image of the .GIF reflected in the lenses of his glasses. Even without looking at the computer, she knew what he was seeing.

She must have watched that image cycle through twenty-seven times before he’d entered her office earlier. A man stood behind a woman and slid his hand over her chest to gently wrap his long fingers around her neck as he yanked down the cup of her bra with his other hand, baring her breast. Her nipple hardened right before the .GIF repeated itself in an endless loop.

Scorching heat rushed to her face, and she closed her eyes. If there were any justice in the world, the floor would open and swallow her whole. Or there would be a tsunami on Lake Michigan, and it would drown her. “Just so you know, I wasn’t looking at…that site…on company time. I didn’t open it until after five.”

The man’s hands had reminded her of Rory’s. It was part of the reason she’d watched it over and over. That and the stupid conversation she’d had with Clover.

“I believe you,” he said, somewhat distractedly, clicking the buttons on her touch pad. “You’re not one to slack off at work.”

She forced open her eyes, only to discover that he’d moved from her dashboard to her actual blog where she’d reposted all of the images that had turned her on and was scrolling through them. All of the images that made her want more than the boring, safe sex she always ended up with. All of the images that were currently revealing her desperate needs to her boss.

“At least, I know my instincts about you weren’t wrong.”

“What are you on about?” She didn’t actually want to know, but the words were already out of her mouth, and it was impossible to call them back.

He turned to face her. “Earlier today, when you and Clover were discussing my sex life in the break room—”
She dropped her head back to stare at the ceiling. “You heard that.”

“From the phrase, ‘one tall blonde with’ I believe it was, ‘ginormous tits after another’ until you noticed me.”

“Fabulous.” Where the hell was that tsunami when she needed it?

“It piqued my interest—”

“Of course, it did.”

Comment below with your tales of christmas destruction to get an entry into the Blissemas Grand Prize Contest. Check blissemas.co.uk/rules/ for full terms and conditions.

The Nice 'n' Naughty Prize

WIN a Luz Splendor Vibrator!

One Winner will be selected at random at midnight on the 18th December and will receive the prize.

Light up your love life with Luz by ToyJoy Splender Rabbit LED Colour Rechargeable Vibrator.

Made from silky soft and body safe silicone this rabbit vibrator will thrill you with 3 vibration speeds and 4 pulsating functions.

The sleekly designed vibe is near silent and completely waterproof.

Say goodbye to batteries as the Luz Splender comes with a USB charging cable.

Once you turn down the lights get ready for an extra special light show. As you play with your new toy the coloured LED light with gently change to enhance the moment. The rigid shaft and flexible clit stim have separate motors which vibrate in unison for internal and clitoral stimulation.

The Luz Splender vibrator comes in a stylish gift box, making it the perfect present for that special someone.

  • Multi colour LED mood lighting
  • USB rechargeable
  • Body safe silicone
  • 3 speeds and 4 functions
  • Waterproof

This Spot Prize has been generously provided by the wonderful Nice ‘n’ Naughty

16 comments

Anonymous - 16th December 2015 Reply

Can’t think of one offhand, but I’m sure there were some “assembly required” toys that got wrecked…

Trix - 16th December 2015 Reply

Aggh, thought I was logged in….

Bronwyn - 18th December 2015 Reply

Assembly required toys are the worst…especially at 2 or 3 in the morning when we were usually putting that stuff together. :)

Jeanne Shaw - 16th December 2015 Reply

A few years ago we had 4 large dogs, The Muttkateers. We set up the tree. The boys, Cosmo and RusseelT, we around 4 and 5 years old and still loved to play. They raced around the living room. Cosmo decided to hid under the tree. Timberrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Bronwyn - 18th December 2015 Reply

Oh no! Yep – big old dog under the tree will definitely take it down! Hopefully, you didn’t lose any special ornaments. It’s hard to be mad at them when they’re just being playful. :)

Liv Honeywell - 16th December 2015 Reply

Love this blog, Bronwyn. Hilarious :D. I have a cat and put the Christmas tree up for the first time a couple of years ago. He was intrigued while I hung the decorations on it and went as far as batting at some of the baubles on the lower branches but, once it was finished and I lifted it onto a cupboard in front of the window, he completely ignored it. I was convinced I was going to find it wrecked on the floor the day after but he left it alone. I’m still convinced he did it to confuse me :)

Bronwyn - 18th December 2015 Reply

Hey Liv, I’m so glad you enjoyed the post! LOL about your cat. I’m sure he was trying to confuse you – either that, or lull you into a false sense of security so he can mess with you later. :D

kinkykittenkim - 16th December 2015 Reply

Well thsi year my grandparents left my presents at my moms. she hasd a rather ishevous dog that mannaged to get hold of them and tear them open. My mom presented me the shreeded torn pj’s and apploguised i totally get it dogs will be dogs lol

Bronwyn - 18th December 2015 Reply

Nothing says Merry Christmas like like dog-shredded jammies. We’ve had the cat shredded version of stuff around here, so I definitely feel your pain. :)

bn100 - 17th December 2015 Reply

no story to share

Bronwyn - 18th December 2015 Reply

On the plus side, no story to share means no holiday themed messes to clean up! ;)

Lisabet Sarai - 17th December 2015 Reply

Hey, Bron! It has been so long since I’ve heard of/from you. Just in the wrong circles these days. I LOVE this post, the pics and excerpt too…and wish you and yours the happiest of holidays.

Come over and guest at my blog some time!!

Bronwyn - 18th December 2015 Reply

Hey Lisabet! It’s so good to “see” you! I’ve been around – but definitely moving in other areas. :) I’m so glad you enjoyed the post – these guys are so funny. :D And thank you! I’d love to come visit your blog – that would be great!

Lucy Felthouse - 18th December 2015 Reply

No destruction here, we’re pretty dull. But please count me in for that baby!

Bronwyn - 19th December 2015 Reply

I could send you some kittens if you need some excitement. :D

linda - 24th December 2015 Reply

fantastic collection to read on the christmas occasion

Comment to Win!

Kev Blisse's Truly Awful Cracker Joke™


Q: What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

A: Nothing, it just gave off a little wine!