I have shared a lot of stories over the years… a lot! Some were written down years ago and I decided to put them together in my first book, “58 Almost Free Sex Stories,” which quickly became a bestseller! Thank you all so much for loving Macy and Eva’s stories.

You can read much more, including one of my favorite holiday stories, “Stuffing the Holiday Virgin” in my new collection: 69 Wild Sex & Porn Stories!

And of course, I’d love to meet you on Twitter, I’m @almostfreesex

You can learn more and hear me read a sexy excerpt at AlmostFreeSexBooks.com

 

I love the holidays and believe that Santa loves my kind of naughty!

In that belief, I’ve re-written a couple of holiday songs with my own twist. Now you’ll know some things I’d like to find under my Christmas Tree this year ;-)

12 Hot Inches of Blissemas

On the 1st hot inch of Blissemas, my true slave gave to me… an adult baby in a carriage.

On the 2nd hot inch of Blissemas, my true slave gave to me… 2 well-lubed gloves, and an adult baby in a carriage.

On the 3rd hot inch of Blissemas, my true slave gave to me… 3 hot lesbians, 2 well-lubed gloves, and an adult baby in a carriage.

On the 4th hot inch of Blissemas, my true slave gave to me… 4 moaning milfs, 3 hot lesbians, 2 well-lubed gloves, and an adult baby in a carriage.

On the 5th hot inch of Blissemas, my true slave gave to me… 5 cock rings… 4 moaning milfs, 3 hot lesbians, 2 well-lubed gloves, and an adult baby in a carriage.

On the 6th hot inch of Blissemas, my true slave gave to me… 6 johns a paying, 5 cooock rings… 4 moaning milfs, 3 hot lesbians, 2 well-lubed gloves, and an adult baby in a carriage.

On the 7th hot inch of Blissemas, my true slave gave to me… 7 gay men rimming, 6 johns a paying, 5 cooock rings… 4 moaning milfs, 3 hot lesbians, 2 well-lubed gloves, and an adult baby in a carriage.

On the 8th hot inch of Blissemas, my true slave gave to me… 8 mommies milking, 7 gay men rimming, 6 johns a paying, 5 cooock rings… 4 moaning milfs, 3 hot lesbians, 2 well-lubed gloves, and an adult baby in a carriage.

On the 9th hot inch of Blissemas, my true slave gave to me… 9 strippers dancing, 8 mommies milking, 7 gay men rimming, 6 johns a paying, 5 cooock rings… 4 moaning milfs, 3 hot lesbians, 2 well-lubed gloves, and an adult baby in a carriage.

On the 10th hot inch of Blissemas, my true slave gave to me… 10 tongues a licking, 9 strippers dancing, 8 mommies milking, 7 gay men rimming, 6 johns a paying, 5 cooock rings… 4 moaning milfs, 3 hot lesbians, 2 well-lubed gloves, and an adult baby in a carriage.

On the 11th hot inch of Blissemas, my true slave gave to me… 11 pimps pimping, 10 tongues a licking, 9 strippers dancing, 8 mommies milking, 7 gay men rimming, 6 johns a paying, 5 cooock rings… 4 moaning milfs, 3 hot lesbians, 2 well-lubed gloves, and an adult baby in a carriage.

On the 12th hot inch of Blissemas, my true slave gave to me… 12 glory holes, 11 pimps pimping, 10 tongues a licking, 9 strippers dancing, 8 mommies milking, 7 gay men rimming, 6 johns a paying, 5 coooooooock rings… 4 moaning milfs, 3 hot lesbians, 2 well-lubed gloves, and an adult baby in a carriage.

Here is one of my favorite, fun Christmas songs, rewritten because I don’t really want a hippopotamus for Blissemas ;-) I’d much rather have this:

Secret Sex Slave

I want a secret sex slave for Blissemas
Only a secret sex slave will do
Don’t want a plug, no other adult toys,
I want a secret sex slave to play with and enjoy

I can see me now on Blissemas morning, creeping down the stairs
Oh what joy and what surprise when I open up my eyes
To see a secret sex slave naked standing there

I want a secret sex slave for Blissemas
I don’t think Santa Claus will mind, do you?
He won’t have to use his dirty little elves,
Just bring me my hot sex slave and let me have a screw

I can see me now on Blissemas morning, creeping down the stairs
Oh what joy and what surprise when I open up my eyes
To see a secret sex slave naked standing there

I want a secret sex slave for Blissemas
Only a secret sex slave will do
No one-night stands, no guy who’s listless
I only like secret sex slaves who don’t put up a fuss
And secret sex slaves seem to like me too

I can see me now on Blissemas morning, creeping down the stairs
Oh what joy and what surprise when I open up my eyes
To see a secret sex slave naked standing there

Yes, the sex slave would eat me all night long,
Extended multi orgasm will make me sing this song.

There’s lots of room for him in my dungeon/garage
He’ll feed me there and wash me there and give me my massage

I can see me now on Blissemas morning, creeping down the stairs
Oh what joy and what surprise when I open up my eyes
To see a sex slave naked standing there

I want a secret sex slave for Blissemas
Only a secret sex slave will do
No one-night stands, no one who’s listless
I only like secret sex slaves who kiss
And secret sex slaves seem to like me too!

Now, please tell me what you’d like to find under your Blissemas tree this year!

Comment below with what you’d like to find under your Blissemas tree to get an entry into the Blissemas Grand Prize Contest. Check blissemas.co.uk/rules/ for full terms and conditions.

The Godemiche Prize

WIN an extra special Golden Peg & Plug Set!

One Winner will be selected at random at midnight on the 8th December and will receive the prize.

The Peg is a small finger like dildo that we have designed for first time anal penetration. Anal penetration should first start small and slowly to allow your body accept and enjoy they new and enjoyable sensation. The Peg has been created with 6 ridged around the middle to give more stimulation to the receiver during their experience. Slow thrust of The Peg will give the receiver sensation of being penetrated and the ridges will further enhance that sensation.

Plug-B is our first silicone butt plug that’s small in size and perfect as a second steep for anal beginners. It’s 2.7inch in length, 1inch in diameter at its widest pint. Hand sculpted, starting with a rounded tip that gradually doubles in size before curving back in to a faired ‘T’ base. The ‘T’ base has been created to sit between your bum cheeks more comfortable than a traditional rounded base.

Please note all Godemiche items are individually handmade and so your prize may vary slightly from the photograph!

This Spot Prize has been generously provided by the wonderful Godemiche

11 comments

kinkykittenkim - 5th December 2015

Maybe some more books …

Macy Alexander - 6th December 2015

Books are cool… especially sexy ones!

kinkykittenkim - 6th December 2015

Yes! i already have quite a few lol running ot of space :)

emmelinepeaches - 5th December 2015

I’d quite like some more lube under my tree. Lube is always appreciated.

Macy Alexander - 6th December 2015

One can never have enough lube ;-)

Trix - 5th December 2015

Books, hockey tickets, and maybe a vacation!

Macy Alexander - 6th December 2015

oooohhh, a sexy vacation on a warm beach!

kaisquared4 - 6th December 2015

I wood like some books from Macy and some toys from Godemiche.

Elysium - 6th December 2015

I would like a couple hundred dollars cash to splurge on toys. I much prefer spending myself when I have money, rather than unwrapping gifts. But the nJoy Eleven, Exotic Erotics, and New York Toy Collective are high on my list.

bn100 - 6th December 2015

gift cards

bn100candg at hotmail dot com

Wren - 8th December 2015

A box full of lube and a Whipspider Rubberworks Orchid because their stuff was amazing but they went out of business a long time ago.

Comments are closed.

Kev Blisse's Truly Awful Cracker Joke™


Q: What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

A: Nothing, it just gave off a little wine!