Tabitha Rayne has been told she is quirky, lovely and kinky – not necessarily in that order or by the same person.

She writes erotic romance and as long as there’s a love scene, she’ll explore any genre. Tabitha is the designer of Ruby Glow – pleasure for the seated lady, a hands-free sex toy made by Rocks Off. She also has a passion for painting nudes.

Her novels are with Beachwalk Press and her short stories are included in anthologies from Harper Collins Mischief, Cleis Press, Xcite, Oysters & Chocolate, Ravenous Romance, Burning Books Press, Velvet Books and House of Erotica.

TabithaRayne.co.uk | TheBritBabes.co.uk

The Meeting Point

Final book in The Clockwork Butterfly Trilogy

A story of love, freedom, and the future of mankind.

Deborah Regan has broken free from the prison where she’s been unjustly held for the past eight years. The scale of the devastation to the land outside is overwhelming. Toxins have taken hold, and the planet is dying. Deborah vows to find her lover Marcus and flee to the safety of the hills where their story first began.

Marcus is one of the few remaining men left on earth, and Deborah finds him held captive at a pleasure farm where he is kept to service rich and powerful women. Escape for him is complex and dangerous. They can only hope that the trio who helped Deborah before will come to their aid. Marcus has heard from his clients over the years of a mythical place with its own microclimate that toxin clouds seem to miss. He is sure they can find it and will be able to build a future together.

Mae, Lena, and Angelo feel compelled to find Deborah and Marcus who they know have a special connection that might prove essential to their survival. They make haste to track the couple and realize the plan they have chosen is fraught with danger and conflict.

Will they make it to the utopia Marcus dreams of?

Erotic novel: contains graphic sex scenes with multiple partners, including m/f and f/f sexual interaction, strong language, and end of the world shenanigans
*The explosive climax to Taking Flight and A Clockwork Butterfly.

It’s Blissssssssemassss!

Hooray! Thanks for opening my door and peeking inside!

I’ve had a whirlwind of a year – so much has happened! The sex toy, Ruby Glow, I’ve been working on with the mighty Rocks Off is now available and soon to be launched – the incredible Brit Babes played a huge role in helping me with the design and research – so much so that a link to a free Brit Babe book comes with every Ruby Glow!

Blissemas 15

On the writing front – my Clockwork Butterfly trilogy is now available in paperback, hooray! I’m offering one of your choice along with a mini bullet vibrator from Rocks Off as a spot prize today – simply Facebook, Google+ or Tweet me something festively saucy with the hashtag #RubyGlow.

But apart from all this – one of the highlights of my year was to win, yes WIN the recent EuphOff championship. In case you don’t know, the EuphOff is a writing competition dedicated to the purplest prose and most euphemistic wordage – the worst possible erotica will be crowned the best :D My mamma would be so proud.

I thought I’d write you a bit of festive euphemism just for you… hold on to your pants, cos they’re about to be scorched right off!

When Santa Got Stuck Up My Chimney (Matron)

photo courtesy of @kilted_wookie

photo courtesy of @kilted_wookie

© Tabitha Rayne

So there I was, night shift at the hospital on Christmas Eve trying my hardest not to reach out and gobble up the Christmas pies and cocoa left out for Santa by the patients.

I could resist no more. I grabbed them to my bosom and sought solace in the small empty staff room stuffing my face with the crumbly morsels. No sooner had I licked the last sticky raisin from my fingertips when a booming voice made me nearly jump out my skin.

“Ho, ho, ho!” It said and I jumped back, affronted.

“I am not, Sir! I’m pure as the driven snow!” Imagine my surprise when I saw it was the real Santa Clause who’d crept up on me.

“Caught you in the act, Matron?” He winked. The cheek! But something in those sparkly crinkled eyes fairly made my Christmas puddings rise in my blouse and my sweet stollen grew sticky in my nethers.

“I’m sorry Santa,” I said, brushing pastry from my heaving sugared chest. “I ate your pie.”

“Oh, a naughty girl,” he said, and I blushed. “Are you full up of my pie?”

His wicked look and the way he flicked his eyes to his beard made me follow his gaze down to his red gentleman area where he indeed had a rising of his own.

“Oh, I daresay I could manage a mouthful of yule log, Santa.”

“I bet you could my hungry nurse, but first, let me feast on your pie as payment for those you denied me. Let me sip on the nectar of your sweet filling as I am thirsty and see that yon cocoa cup is now empty.”

What could I do? It was the real Santa after all. I tripped back on my heels and landed on the meagre staff sofa with my legs akimbo and petticoats all up around my face.

I felt a tugging at my knickerbockers and suddenly a cool gust of air hit my lady region.

“Ahh yes, I see your oven is hot tonight and the filling will surely be spicy.” And with that he pressed his big white beard up against my love furnace and feasted on my brandy cream.

“Ohh, oo, Santa,” I whimpered as I took my pleasure in his mouth.

“Ho, ho, ho,” he declared and I pulled my skirts back down to see him wiping his shining beardy locks. He stood up straight and I once again quivered at the sight of his enormous Yuletide offering, my mouth watering.

“Let me suckle at your candy cane,” I pleaded while reaching for his ballops.

“Yes, I’ll think you’ll find, Santa has a very special sack of presents for naughty matrons just like you.”

And there you have it! I hope you’ll join in my competition or join me for more fun on the webosphere – I do some serious writing too ;) (on occasion)…

Have a very merry Blissemas!

Comment below with a bit of your own purple prose to get an entry into the Blissemas Grand Prize Contest. Check blissemas.co.uk/rules/ for full terms and conditions.

The Tabitha Rayne Prize

WIN a paperback from her trilogy (Winners Choice) and a Rocks Off mini bullet vibrator!

One Winner will be selected at random at midnight on the 15th December and will receive the prize.

Tabitha Rayne has been told she is quirky, lovely and kinky – not necessarily in that order or by the same person. She writes erotic romance and as long as there’s a love scene, she’ll explore any genre. She also has a passion for painting nudes. Her novels are with Beachwalk Press and her short stories are included in anthologies from Xcite, Oysters & Chocolate, Cleis Press, Ravenous Romance, Burning Books Press, Velvet Books, Totally Bound and House of Erotica. She is one eighth of the Brit Babes.

The original RO style bullet from Rocks-Off is still the most powerful single speed bullet in the world With one touch operation and powerfully intense vibes, this discreet little pleasure bullet will have you weak at the knees.

This Spot Prize has been generously provided by the wonderful Tabitha Rayne

14 comments

Ali Greig (@alijanegreig) - 13th December 2015 Reply

A gloriously festive liason!!

Tabitha Rayne (@TabithaErotica) - 14th December 2015 Reply

Oh hooray! Yes, we all love one of those ;) ;)

Kilted Wookie - 13th December 2015 Reply

I feel used, I tell you… Used…

Probably the only use my “Yule log” will get put to this festive season though…

KW

Tabitha Rayne (@TabithaErotica) - 14th December 2015 Reply

You love it!!! Ha ha – I’m sure your Yule Log will do just fine Mr W ;)
I’m sure he has many admires after this – thanks again for letting me use this glorious photo – it’s perfect x xx

Trix - 13th December 2015 Reply

This one’s added lots of erotic holiday euphemisms to my repertoire!

Tabitha Rayne (@TabithaErotica) - 14th December 2015 Reply

Ooo goodie! I hope you find many an occasion to slip one in to conversation (matron)! :D x x

Tom - 13th December 2015 Reply

Lovely , some literotica x

Tabitha Rayne (@TabithaErotica) - 14th December 2015 Reply

Thank you – yes, one does like to exercise one’s brain and intellect on occasion ;) :D
Thanks for commenting x x

bn100 - 13th December 2015 Reply

super special Santa

Tabitha Rayne (@TabithaErotica) - 14th December 2015 Reply

Isn’t he just :D x x

kinkykittenkim - 14th December 2015 Reply

Santa sure has me on his naughty list. I have tried to be good i promise. I just didn’t make it past january maybe next year i will last until february atleast. I have to say i enjoyed his visit last year Those jingle bells sure had my cheeks as red as rudolph’s nose.

Tabitha Rayne (@TabithaErotica) - 14th December 2015 Reply

Well, my my, sounds like we have Similar Santas :D
Thanks for commenting – and may you always be on the naughty list ;) x x

kinkykittenkim - 14th December 2015 Reply

Hey Tabitha, I do try my very best to make the good list but i fail every year mainly on purpose bcause whats life without being a little naughty right ? :)x

bigmissnaughty - 14th December 2015 Reply

Brilliant!! certainly made me smile xx

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Kev Blisse's Truly Awful Cracker Joke™


Q: What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

A: Nothing, it just gave off a little wine!