Victoria Blisse is a Mother, Wife, Christian, Manchester United Fan and Award Winning Erotica Authoress and all round Cheeky Wench. She is also the editor of several Bigger Briefs collections, and the co-editor of the fabulous Smut Alfresco, Smut by the Sea (Vol.1), Smut by the Sea (Vol.2), Smut by the Sea (Vol.3), and Smut in the City Anthologies.

She is the mistress of Smut UK taking her World Famous Erotic Tombola & Nedd Ball’s Mucky Dip to various events or putting on her own Smut Events, Days & Evenings dedicated to erotica, socializing, fun and prizes. Check out Smut Nights, Smut by the Sea, and Smut Manchester for more info.

Born near Manchester, England, her northern English quirkiness shows through in all of her stories along with her own particular brand of humour and romance that bring laughs and warm fuzzies in equal measure.

Passion, love and laughter fill her works, just as they fill her busy life.

You can often find Victoria procrastinating on Facebook , Twitter and Pinterest

To find out more check out http://victoriablisse.co.uk

Always Christmas in Lincoln

It isn’t really always Christmas in Lincoln but when Felicity gets her man it feels like it.

Felicity hates Christmas. It reminds her of a traumatic event from her childhood. She thinks the Permanent Christmas shop is tacky, with its windows full of trees and tinsel all year round and would rather it disappeared from her picturesque home town.

When she discovers that Carl, who she lusts over every time she sees him in the tea rooms, is in fact the owner of Ho, Ho, Ho! She’s not quite sure what to think. It takes a sexy meeting in the middle of a fake winter wonderland to make her realise the advantages of Christmas in the middle of summer.

As time passes, Carl and Felicity indulge in more sexy liaisons but as Christmas approaches Felicity doubts whether she is anything more than a sensual distraction for the festive shop owner and when her handsome ex, Sean, sweeps into town on a quest to win her back she finds she has a tough decision to make.

Can Carl and his Christmas cheer win over her hardened heart?

Excerpt © Victoria Blisse

I have to walk past Ho, Ho, Ho! every day and I don’t understand it. It’s the middle of July and the window is filled with Christmas trees, tinsel and snow. It’s been like that since last Christmas and will be like that next Christmas and it won’t change much in between. Funny thing is that tourists and locals alike flock to that place all year round.

They’ll laugh when they go past, maybe even exclaim their shock, but moments later they’ll be in there and, nine times out of ten, they’ll exit with a holly-patterned bag in hand. I’ve never been in. I hate Christmas at Christmas time and I sure as hell don’t want to be reminded of its existence every damn day, but to get to my quirky vintage boutique I have to walk past the place. I find it depressing.

Most people accept it because the shop used to be empty and an empty shop in Lincoln is not to be tolerated. It looked scruffy and locals did not like that one bit. I don’t count myself a local, though. I only moved into the area a year ago, from the far less glamorous Wirral. All right, so I come from Birkenhead, but thankfully I don’t have that Scouse screech – my parents brought me up a whole lot posher than that. In their world, we lived in Cheshire – after all, that’s what the postcode indicated.

I’d visited Lincoln with my mum on one of those weekend coach trips. I’d treated her for her sixtieth birthday and I’d fallen in love with the place. The cathedral is dramatic and dominant, as is the castle, and everything in between is so quaint and ‘olde worlde’. The high street is less picturesque, but I avoid going down that end of the hill as much as I possibly can.

Yes – there is no escaping the hill, I’m afraid, and many people huff and puff and come to a stop outside my window on Steep Hill, pretending to be interested in my stock when really they just want a breather before they take on the rest of the slope. I find that it works out very well for me, since many of these people actually come in and purchase something once they’ve got their breath back.

I love the range of people I meet in my little boutique. It never ceases to amaze me how many people from all over the world I have buying things in my shop on a weekly basis. I can virtually guarantee I’ll see a German, an American, someone who’s Chinese and a Scottish person every week – close to every day, in fact. Lincoln is a massively popular tourist destination.

As I opened up on that bright, sunny morning, I smiled. I loved my job. I sourced clothing from all over the country, along with jewellery and knick-knacks with a vintage feel. I get to pick and choose things I like and fill my shop with them. I don’t sell a thing that I don’t love and that makes for one very happy shopkeeper, I can tell you.

I say shop like it’s something impressive but it’s not a particularly huge one. The building is pretty ancient – not quite as old as some of the other buildings along this cobbled street, but still old enough to have been around when Shakespeare was bigger than X Factor. I felt the age of the place like a comforting blanket the first time I came to visit. I knew I wanted it the moment I walked in the door and, although small, it’s perfectly formed for what I need.

I’m lucky – my parents gave me capital to set up my business. However, I pay them back a significant sum each month and so I have to work hard to ensure I make enough money to pay them and keep a roof over my own head – which, believe me, is hard work.

I set about sorting out my stock and putting a float into my till and all the other daily routines I do.

I like routine. I like everything to happen just so and at the right time. I’m not a fan of surprises; I’m not terribly impulsive. All of which probably explains why I haven’t been on a date in more years than I care to remember, and why I was lonely. I was. I was mostly happy on my own. I could do what I wanted, how I wanted and when I wanted, but some nights I did just long for somebody to snuggle up to. Someone to share my dreams with.


Christmas is a time for giving and so is Blissemas.

I started off the Blissemas tradition with just a week of festive treats from yours truly but each year it’s grown to include a variety of amazing authors and now lots of great companies too. Each day you have a chance to win a couple of prizes. The daily spot prize and the grand Blissemas prize of a Kindle Voyage How cool is that?

I want to kick off the festivity with 3 sexy poems to enjoy from the Queen of Smut, Santa Blisse herself!

Visit Victoria’s Blissemas Blog

If you want more adult fun come join me at the Alternative & Burlesque Christmas Fair on the 17th December at Sound Control in Manchester where Smut.UK will have our stall.

We’ve got the World Famous Erotic Tombola and Nedd Ball’s Mucky Dip with some sensational prizes from Sextoys.co.uk, UberKinky, Toys 4 Naughty Boys, System JO and many more fabulous companies.

Lots of Kinky Christmas gifts and cards to purchase as well as smutty books from Victoria Blisse and some of the other awesome Brit Babes to spice up your festive season!

If you would like a bit more Festive Blisse there’s plenty out there to choose :

Comment below about something naughty you’ve done to get an entry into the Blissemas Grand Prize Contest. Check http://blissemas.co.uk/rules/ for full terms and conditions.

The Smut.UK Spot Prize

WIN a complete collection of Smut.UK eBook Anthologies!

One Winner will be selected at random at midnight on the 8th December and will receive the prize.

Smut.UK are the team behind the successful anthologies Smut by the Sea (1, 2 and 3), Smut in the City, Smut Alfresco, Smut for Chocoholics, More Smut for Chocoholics and Sapphic Smut.

They also run fabulous Smut Events, these are day long festivals of fun with Workshops, Reading Slams, Presentations and Much More.

This Spot Prize has been generously provided by the wonderful Smut.UK

4 comments

Gilly Langley - 1st December 2016 Reply

Naughty me ???? ??
There was a time when I took a naughty trip to Manchester to the Smut event and wrote a naughty story after being given sponges as my item in the Smut workshop with Kay Jaybee it was a naughty day that felt so fun to be part of.

Amanda Williams - 1st December 2016 Reply

Ive got caught having it outside before O.O

Trix - 1st December 2016 Reply

I cut school to go to an out-of-state rock concert…

bn100 - 11th December 2016 Reply

nothing

Comment to Win!

Kev Blisse's Truly Awful Cracker Joke™


Q: What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

A: Nothing, it just gave off a little wine!